“What do I do if I can’t stand my kid?”

This question was posed to me by the father of a teenage boy recently. His son is all “punked-out”, as this dad put it. He doesn’t really try very hard in school. There’s the skateboarding and the earrings. His clothes are too big. And for this dad, he of fine fitted suits, he means WAY too big! And his hair, well, his hair is simply ridiculous, right?

All he seems to be about is this damn music. So, I ask about the music. Turns out this boy is a virtuoso guitarist. Play the song once, he picks up on the melody, and adds his own flourishes. He writes beautiful music as well, Dad admits reluctantly, with remarkably insightful lyrics. But Dad dismisses all of this with a shrug:

“How can I give him credit for this if he’s not doing any of the other stuff? It’s just not enough.”

So the lines are drawn. Neither father nor son is willing to budge. They are growing further and further apart with each passing day. They fight, and their positive interactions are trickling down to nothing.

I say Dad needs to open up, quit judging his son, and practice accepting and embracing him, not just his talent on the guitar, but everything about him. I say things improve once Dad gets to know his son again, once he opens up and listens.

Dad disagrees with me.

What do you think?