I usually head out for a quick run in the mornings. I tend to make this a pensive, insular, entirely solitary experience. The last thing I want to do is make small talk with somebody while I can barely breathe.
So, on the morning in question, I started out early. I ventured over to the track near the high school, thought I’d do my time, count laps, head home. There was only one guy out there running, and he was obviously out-pacing my usual clip. Of course, I’d have preferred solitude, or a runner slower than myself, but I decided I’d take my chances. I stretched a bit, and jogged the first lap. Midway through the second lap I hear, as predicted, the long strides of the other guy crunching easily, rhythmically and rapidly on the gravelly surface. As he pulls up alongside me, I plan the “‘mornin'” head nod as he makes his way past me.
Instead, I see a man appear on my right, about my age, saying earnestly, “If you’d like to be alone, I’ll understand. But I’d love some company out here if you wouldn’t mind.”
Great.
I’m thinking, “Yeah, okay Dude, fine. Let’s run.”
He introduces himself (John as well), and tells me he’s in town visiting his parents. Turns out, John currently lives in Oslo with his wife and teenage daughter. He grew up here, and expounded a bit on what he feels are the critical differences between the two cultures:
“If I were in Norway, I wouldn’t care that you drive a BMW.”
“When I’m in the States, I always feel I’m missing out on something. I always want more. At home, for some reason, I’m happy with what I’ve got.”
“Women in Oslo don’t wear these fuzzy boots I see everywhere. What are they called?”
“We want the same things for our kids there, but we worry about our kids a lot less.”
Now, I found myself very interested in John’s homespun wisdom and cross-cultural comparisons, to be sure. In particular, his thoughts on the differences in parenting teens definitely had my interest.
But something else was going on here, something far more interesting.
John and I were conversing and running, running fast, nearly twice my typical pace. And I soon lost track of how far we’d run, as I’d become engrossed in the discussion. So, why was I able to run faster than I thought? Why was I willing to, actually more than happy to, run with someone else?
As I considered the questions, the answer became apparent: John was smiling.
In fact, this guy smiled the whole time. He was enjoying the run itself, enjoying the cool air, enjoying the conversation with a stranger.
And so he smiled.
At several points, I informed John this would be my last lap. Each time, he answered, smiling, “Ah, come on, let’s have another go.” And off we’d go. Guess it’s hard to say no to a smiling guy. All told, I think I ran about twice my usual distance.
Later that morning I thought about John. What a great way to approach any new experience, a smile. How often do we do that? He seemed open to whatever might happen. But I’ll bet he was pretty sure he knew. He knew he’d get that guy on the track to run with him, to talk a bit. I’ll bet all that smiling makes John’s interactions in his life a lot more interesting, more positive and fun.
I was blissfully exhausted the rest of the day. And telling the story of this guy from Norway I’d met running.
Smiling, of course.
As my husband always says, it is very difficult to be in a negative mood when you are smiling. I think that life would go much more smoothly if we all just smiled a little bit more. It does catch people off guard sometimes when you smile at them but most people quickly get over it.
Great story, John. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Aileen. Over the past few days, I’ve been trying this, smiling at anything new, at work and at home. I honestly find that I think, and probably do, differently when I smile. It’s probably some combination of psychology and muscle memory, but something about it seems to work. Thanks again.
What I love about this story is that I’m like you in wanting to run by myself. But, unlike you, I probably would have thought of some excuse not to run with the guy, not to talk to him. So I’m glad you came back with this good story to tell, a reminder of what can happen when we break our own little rules.
Yeah, Andrew, I think you’re right. We’re almost always better off breaking our own little rules. Full disclosure, though, I do not believe Oslo John was offering me the option of ‘No.’ I kinda like that about the guy too.
Hey John, If I smiled that much at work…the patients would wonder what I put in their IV’s…No, just kidding…nice story as always…maybe I’ll try to smile more.
Oslo John reminds me of my brother-in-law. At first he seems very quiet, reserved, and when I first met him I had put him in the category of “revere and respect from afar.” But turned out he was a kind of guy who can become friends with anyone. Right now he is in Romania on a 6-month assignment, making friends with young European travelers in trains, little old women at the market, farmers, priests, everyone. He gets into people’s lives and sees the world through their lenses. His tales are far richer than any travelers who just see the sights and come home. And he does this with big smiles, of course.
Although the muscles on my face lost memories, I know my smile still works. Not only interpersonally: when I notice a hawk or a GBH while driving and smile at the sight, I feel alive.
That is exactly the vibe, Tomo, I received from Oslo John. And I know what you mean about the smile bringing you to life. This run was wholly invigorating to me. Thanks for sharing!