How do we teach compassion, in a genuine way, to our children? This has been an ongoing theme in my practice over the course of the past year or two. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions I’m asked, and a few thoughts:

– With so many people suffering around us, why is it important to teach your kids to be compassionate?

Ask most any parent what they want for their kids, and you receive a few stock answers: success, happiness, strong and loving relationships. Clearly, though, most every parent wants to raise compassionate children. We want to raise good, caring people, people who will make a positive impact on the world. While they’re children, though, compassion is so important, now in the age of texting and social media, more than ever. There are new methods out there for cruelty and bullying among young people, and we need to counter that with an element of kindness, caring and compassion. Also, compassion is a major component of Emotional Intelligence, which many psychologists feel contributes to most every measure of success in life.

– Do you feel like kids in general are more or less compassionate than older generations? Why?

I think many of my colleagues, as well as many parents, would disagree with me on this one. But I do, in fact, feel that kids today are actually more compassionate than older generations. They don’t always show this sense of compassion to the adults in their lives, but it is there, and it is strong. I am fortunate enough to work with young people one-on-one in my practice every day. Despite appearances sometimes, this young generation is a caring, loving, thoughtful, compassionate bunch. They take care of one another unlike many of us did a generation ago. Many will not tolerate bullying of any kind. in the past few weeks, I worked with two teenagers, both broken-hearted by the devastation resulting from the recent tsunami in Japan. Although often impulsive, today’s young people truly consider the impact of their actions on others. I often find myself encouraging my young clientele to offer the same dose of compassion to themselves that they offer to those around them. All of that said, there are exceptions, of course, as always, but generally, kids today are clearly highly compassionate.

– How can parents turn all of today’s bad news into opportunities to teach kids about compassion?

Talk to your kids about what’s going on in the world. Don’t protect them from the tragedy and devastation out there. Children often offer the most hopeful pearls of wisdom in the wake of disaster, after all. You may find your children comforting you! Also, talk to them about relief efforts, people who care, inspiring figures who foster help, hope and change. Let them know that you believe that they can contribute to making the world a better, brighter, safer place.

I do caution parents to balance the good and the bad in these discussions. There is a lot of good in the world, and we want to make our children aware of that as well. I also think there is a clear down-side to watching news on TV 24/7. The saturation of bad news makes many of us adults negative and jaded in our perspectives, and these are not the qualities we are looking to foster in our brilliant, compassionate children.

– What are some practical tips you can give parents to help them raise selfless children?

Live the selflessness you’d like to see in your children. Get out and volunteer, and bring your children with you. Talk to them about the events of the day, and how you as a family, or your children as individuals, can make an impact. Ge tout there and do something, but make your children part of the process. And a donation is great, but actual volunteering, in which your children can meet the people they assist, this fosters a deep, true sense of compassion.